What if John McCain wins?
Economic boomlet ahead for Sedona, red rock country?
by James Bishop, Jr.
A good politician is as unthinkable as an
honest burglar. – H.L. Mencken
My old Hopi friend, Henry, never has been one to mince his words and tells anyone who’ll listen, “I’m going to vote for Hillary.”
Cowboy Billy Bob from Cornville, who never fritters away his words either, sidled up to him outside the once funky saloon, tapped him gently on the shoulder and said, “Don’t waste your vote. McCain’s the man. He’ll be good for Sedona—for business. Think of all the networks buying three meals a day!”
Knowing that it’s a far, far better thing to ask some of the questions than it is to know all the answers, here’s a question: Would a McCain presidency be good for Sedona?
Truthfully, it all depends.
Will the U.S. still be at war? If so, will Sedona and environs be the target of picketers and mothers of dead sons camped out on Page Springs Road? Thus, therein looms the deeper question: What does the Arizona senator actually mean by victory in Iraq?
On the other hand, what if Iraq demands that the U.S. leave even before McCain takes office in the White House? Can that be called victory? Will he be too busy to camp out in his creekside hideaway?
Now that we’re embroiled in Arizona’s blessed fourth season, the hallowed Monsoons, let’s cool the speculation, along with the weather.
President McCain has stopped saying that American troops will be in Iraq for a hundred years. Because of diplomatic breakthroughs, our loved ones are coming home—and the picketers have gone home. In that case, were the new president to be spending more time around here, there’d be a boom in maps.
That’s a winning prediction, since all the people who read the eastern media have been told that he lives in Sedona—and won’t give up until they find his so-called ranch (which is not on any map), which they will discover is miles from Sedona—and is already heavily guarded.
Will we folks see him walking our sidewalks as Truman did in Manhattan?
“That’ll be the day,” says Alice at Judi’s. “He’s been around here for years, and I’ve never seen him, not even once.”
Beyond that, weighty questions loom!
At a minimum, President McCain won’t travel to his Arizona ranchero without at least 100 fawning, mesmerized newshounds in tow, and a couple of dozen Secret Service agents. Local hotels could be booming, since journalists despite the gossip, don’t drink all the time, and have to grab some shuteye once in a while.
Beyond that, hoteliers could be happily challenged, should our new president invite foreign leaders, say from the Peoples Republic of China. Influential topsiders from that country are known to travel in large numbers, actually battalions.
On the flip side, Sedonans had better be prepared to be patted down, national security concerns being paramount over individual rights, nowadays. Some locals may enjoy that.
What’s more, since the newshounds from New York and Washington will have tons of time on their hands while the new president learns to use a teleprompter or tries to master a PC, Sedona’s City Council and staff would be wise to prepare themselves for some serious investigative reporting into alleged budgetary miscalculations, and the inordinate number of out-of-town, out-of-state consultants that always seem to be dipping into the till.
Beyond that, they may probe into the existence of a “shadow government” that seems to have clouded some of the minds and memories of our leaders.
Not touching that prediction any further, one can just imagine the flood of tourists should the new president be dropped off in Uptown Sedona to savor double scoops of lemon sherbet, a flavor insiders report, is his favorite.
Rumors persist that he will visit Sedona’s memorable library and talk books with the librarian. That’s appropriate, since the new president’s mentor, the late Barry Goldwater, was the featured speaker when the new library was officially opened, in 1994.
Indubitably, he will hold major media conferences up on the grounds of Sedona’s airport - or at the library. What phenomenal media moments lie ahead for Sedona?
In 2009, the public may learn where he stands on the burning issues of our day. These insights are overdue, since when he was a candidate, according to trusted sources, he was the anti-torture candidate that supports torture; the pro-immigration candidate that opposes immigration; the candidate who opposes tax cuts for the rich, yet supports them.
Men change, Heroes change. Should McCain evolve into a “Bull Moose” like Teddy Roosevelt, and make a speech with the theme that “ideologies separate us, dreams and anguish bring us together” (see Ionesco). Sedona will be hailed worldwide for encouraging leadership, and perhaps its reputation for firewalkers, shape-shifters, and visitors from other dimensions will fade away like the morning dew on Stoneman Lake.
One can dream, can’t one?